Broadview Hawks Football Club

Hawks Claw Back a Win July 13th, 2010

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Both OAFL bloggers last week predicted that the Hawks would lose to Ottawa in what would be a close game. Guess what buckoes, you were wrong. Broadview was out scores of their best players due to various injuries, unfortunate game suspensions or simple unavailability. It was argued that without these key players, the Hawks would fold under the up-and-coming Ottawa Swans starting to get into their rhythm. I guess the team of Hawkers who woke up early and drove the 450 some kilometers were not a factor in their equations because they’re all just for show.

The first quarter saw the Hawks dominate the ball with 5 goals to Ottawa’s one. The Brad Brothers were wreaking havoc in the centre, owning the ball while Tom “Collo” Cruise made a surprise cameo appearance as Full Forward and also fought for the ball well. It echoed previous matchups with Ottawa with goals being made with more precision less mess.

The second quarter was another story. All of a sudden Ottawa was scoring goals, leaving Broadview in its dust. Fears started to surface that the Phantom and Jean Grey’s predictions would come true. It also showed this reporter how easy it is to forget how dangerous these short fields are: if you let up even for a moment, the other team will come and bowl you over… no matter who you are and who they are.

Hanging on to a slim lead into the half, the third quarter saw a more muzzled Swan side but yet still a mostly impotent Hawk side. Was the first quarter a fluke? Can the cast of the Broadview Hawks not carry the play onwards without some of their stars? The fourth quarter answered that question with Hawk goal after Hawk goal. Even playing with a man down, after Ian “Metro” Graham (who showed up with force this game) had back problems and came off through the interchange, the Hawks still came out with a resounding win. Pictures of Ian’s physio treatment are bound to show up time and time again. I’d criticize a certain player’s overzealous goal celebration of air guitar on his flute followed by a sexy-time-explosion-knockout as a little much but that would prove mild when compared to the night to come.

Ottawa remains one of the most anticipated games on the Hawks calendar. In this reporter’s opinion, both the players and venue are the most hospitable in the league. Hopefully, the out of character friction seen on the sidelines was just a hiccup. I know that swans and hawks can coexist peacefully and hope they can.

It could be argued that the night on the town is just as challenging as the game, full of pitfalls and unexpected situations. This year, there was a mandate that every Hawker had to adorn himself with an atrociously bad shirt for the night on the town. After an exhausting photoshoot, the Hawks were almost mauled by mountain lions right outside the hotel upon exiting.

Things did not improve at the bar when, right away, one Anthony “Slept on any Bathroom Floors Lately?” Simpson (who had a great game btw) shattered the shot glass that teammate Kevin “Bridgy” Bridgman bought for him and the team in absentia. Cheers! Bets were starting on who would be kicked out first with the aforementioned Jersey Boi, Pablo “Right Out Of Time” Willis, and Chris “Slept Standing up in any Bars Lately?” Phyland being the frontrunners. Bets were also lost as Jamie “Not a Footloose Kevin Bacon but a Tremors Kevin Bacon” Mahy failed to win an arm wrestle with one of the several messy brides-to-be that evening. Those Hawkers unfortunate not to be kicked out early enough were victim to having images of Henry “Dancing Queen” Chen forever etched into their collective nightmares for all eternity. Good times, good times.