Hawks Smoke Rebels May 17th, 2010
Hawks 18. 17. (125)
def. Rebels 3. 1. (19)
There was no question who was dominating this Round 2 game from the opening bounce: our boys in yellow and brown. The first quarter alone saw over 30 points for the Hawks go unanswered by a pointless Rebel side.
Maybe it was the fact that it wasn't an 8 am game at the far away field of Humber North so that Aaron "Dude, you need to sleep more" Gaulke could have more beauty sleep before the game. Maybe it was the fact it wasn't a torrential downpour of freezing rain, although that should have allowed Brad "Tassles" Hindle to play better in the last game against the Blues with harder nipples. Or maybe it was simply the fact that the Hawks are a decidedly strong team up against a team that's rebuilding.
The talent scouts were right on the money on rookies such as Afjal "Energizer Bunny on Amphetamine" Mohammad and Morgan "Mmorgs" Turner. The former was all over the field like a darting Marsupial, while the latter was diving headfirst to get the ball. That's the kind of play we like to see at Hawks Fan Club Central: dedication and determination with no surrender. There were some stellar performances across the board. Jamie "Pillow-biter" Mahy was all over the ball, smothering it here, taking marks there and even scoring a goal. It was a sheer delight to watch Pablo "Tasmanian Devil" Willis repeatedly rush into the fray with or without the ball and yet somehow always come out with it. Whoever leather-pant wearing, elf-shoe sporting, leather girly-bag matching, Tom Cruise look-a-like from Risky Business dudemanguy who suggested putting Pablo nearer to the centre was indeed right.
We saw some great hits from Mario "Hansen Brother #2" Pareja as well as Rhys "Can't email from London Hansen Brother #1" Harris. Henry "the Mexican" Chen was able to post two goals as well; one spectator commented that his two goals were very crowd-pleasing because they were both "very cute". He is still looking for his lost masculinity right now. Richie "OMG is that Richie?" Mintz was taking marks as if he were the fat chick trying to catch the bouquet at the end of every wedding. The fans speculate that someone probably tied his shoelaces together for how many goals he missed though. Nick "Gotta colour-coordinate with Codes" Shuttleworth played his usual excellent game, taking marks despite quadruple coverage.
Our new imports from down under were similarly shining bright. Cody "Gotta Colour-coordinate with Shutts" Royle reminded this reporter of Patrick Roy, but without the goalie equipment and stick and without the skates or ice but with cleats instead. Yeah, I guess that was a bad analogy. Basically, crap didn't seem to get past him. Both the Brads ("Spida" Farley and "Handles" Hindle) and Anthony "Can your girlfriend please come to every game if she's gonna bring sandwiches and candy?" Simpson definitely showed some great prowess on the field. All in all, there seemed a great foreshadowing that the Hawks are probably going to have a good season ahead of them.
The Rebels were able to score two goals in the second quarter. It was scary for a bit... had the Hawks underestimated yet another team? No, the Hawks walked away easy victors on this day.
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