Bridgy did a great job on this again. Huge thanks go to him for putting it together.

From the opening horn, the ball was quickly won out of the centre and fed downfield towards the Hawks' forward line. It was a promising and exciting start to see the possibility of our boys finally beating the Eagles after years of defeats. The records show that the Toronto Eagles have faced and beaten the Hawks in the OAFL Grand Final 3 times since both the respective clubs' inception into the league in 1989. Alas, the ball was turned over and effectively passed down the field into the Eagles' forwards. There was a precision to their keeping possession of the ball that made the impression that this would not be an easy game at all for the Hawks. Every time the Eagles scored a goal it was like watching Bill Murray bowl in the movie, Kingpin: you just didn't want him ever to get a strike and, at the same time, you couldn't reduce his exploits down to blind luck. The end of the quarter saw the Eagles with an oppressive lead with 3 goals and 7 behinds to the Hawks' solitary point.

The next quarter, the Hawks' defence was fired up more and did a better job of quelling the Eagles' attempts at goal. Mario "Death-metal and Little Rat-Dogs Together at Last" Pareja, Stefan "Insert Gajillionth Pale Joke Here" Leyhane, Rhys "New Hobbit Civic" Harris were all notable in their effectiveness of regaining possession for Broadview. However, on the other side, the Eagles were able to completely shut the Hawks out of scoring even a behind this quarter.

Without everybody's favourite back-line ghost, the Eagles were able to capitalize in the remaining quarter, making the gap in score impossible for the Hawks to overcome. And yet, with their final breaths, the boys in yellow and brown were able to post 3 more goals and 2 behinds to make the final score: Eagles 85, Hawks 34. The Eagles will be fighting for their 12th time at being OAFL champions this Saturday at Humber North against last year's champs and undefeated this year, the Etobicoke Kangaroos.

Previous to the main game, the Hawks reserves were able to achieve victory over the 2nds of the Kangaroos by a solitary goal, scored by Martin "Right, okay?" Walter. The 2nds will also be advancing to the Reserves grand final against the Quebec Saints to fight for the inaugural Mike Pyke Cup this Saturday before the main game between the Roos and Eagles.

Following the end of the main game of Hawks vs. Eagles, Martin "What the F is this? Water, Marty." Walter announced that he was retiring as head coach. The sheer volume of dedication and support that was heaped on the Broadview Hawks by Marty in his time as head coach cannot be thanked or honoured near enough as deserved. He leaves in his final season as head coach with the first Australia.com Canadian National Championship win under his belt, a free trip to Australia, a Sirius Satellite Radio package, and a guaranteed role in Peter Jackson's upcoming prequel movie, "The Hobbit". This reporter would like to thank him for his extremely generous efforts over the years and wish him well in all his future endeavours.

After driving past many of the 300 waterfalls that Hamilton boasts, the Broadview Hawks were in a state of perfect chi, balanced with nature and the world (there really should be a sarcasm font). In truth, the Hawks were ready to dole out some wrath that you only see in agitated pitbulls poked one too many times by a toddler wielding a stick. Stupid waterfalls.

From the sound of the horn that signaled the beginning of the match, the Hawks and Wildcats went at the ball with a fighting fury; each anxious to drive hope away from the other team's playoff ambitions. The end result of the quarter would see the Wildcats having scored 3 goals and 1 behind to the Hawks' 4 goals and 2 behinds. Seven points isn't a big lead but being ahead is still being ahead.

The second quarter saw the Wildcats come back with a vengeance, scoring 22 points to the Hawks' four. It almost seemed like, indeed, that it was the wind that won games as both times the wind was with their kicks, each team was able to capitalize on that advantage. At the half, one would think the tires of the Hawks would have been slashed; they had begun with a lead of 7 and were now down by 11. That's a loss from top of 18 points in day-trading terms.

The fourth quarter is a blurred memory. I think there was a blue sky and green grass. All anyone can remember are the two quick goals early in the quarter by Nick "Somebody save my GF from Marty" Shuttleworth to put Broadview in the lead, the heroic efforts of Danny "One-legged and still a menacing footy-playing Viking" Walker, and in the final scant minutes of the game the amazing tackle by Kevin "U2 is the Wind Beneath my Wings" Bridgman, that shut down the Hamilton offense just when a single Wildcat goal could kill the Hawks' playoffs for 2009.

Hawks 58 to Wildcats 54. Hawks advance.

Due to failed attempts at entering the Beer Store before 10 am, the boys were slated to have an empty cooler as their day's reward. Thanks to the emergency little ninja whom they kept in their bus's glove compartment, cold ones were available on the full. After the game, several Hawks travelled to Humber North to watch the Blues vs Dingos game. Upon arriving, the underdog Blues were ahead by a good 20 points. And upon completion of the game, the Blues had kept ahead and won. Their win determined that they would face the Roos next week while the Hawks were to face the Eagles. There were two things never witnessed before by this reporter: an award of a "100" free kick and an attempted fistful swing at the umpy, after the game had long ended. Related or unrelated events? That is for history to decide.

The Hawks will play the Eagles in the semi-finals this Sunday at Humber North at 2 pm. The Sunday date is to ensure a good night's sleep following the AFL Grand Final on the Friday night.

One down, two to go.

The first quarter saw a certain kind of magic occur on the field again. Like the week before against the Dingos, the ball was constantly being both won and kept in possession by the Hawks. Not only was Broadview hungry for the ball but also being smart in keeping the ball with only yellow and brown jumpers. The end of the first quarter saw the Hawks having scored 4 goals and 2 behinds to the Blues' solitary goal.

The second quarter was the beginning of the oddball events that would continue into the night. There was the emergency player switch off, as Stefan "forces recovering alcoholics to go to open bar functions" Leyhane had lost a contact and luckily had an emergency pair ready to go. There was the crushing collision between Danny "Flip-flops are Business Casual" Walker, some poor Blues player in the middle, and Sven "Random is an Understatement" Henrycoff of which to the Blues player's credit was able to walk away from said Terminator muscle manwich. And, of course, how could we forget the possibility of the game being halted until another umpire could arrive as the umpy had to call time for his own possible sprained ankle. One Hawk fan said she had never seen such a thing in 12 years of watching footy. This quarter the Blues floored the gas and activated their nitrous oxide only to be returned in kind by the Hawks; this quarter was more of a see-saw duel rather than the domination experienced in the first quarter.

After another see-saw evenly matched quarter in the fourth, the Hawks achieved a resounding victory with a 40 point surplus over the Blues. What makes the win even more exciting is that the Hawks have the capability to play better; the things that were really making the magic happen wasn't happening all the time. If the Hawks can have all their engines firing in unison (keeping the talk up and being there for every play) come the playoffs, they will definitely be a contender.

After the last three games, one almost wonders if this had been the plan all along. Much like a pool shark in a bar, it almost seems possible that the Hawks executive's strategy was to feign a weak side to the entire OAFL in order to capitalize on underestimating opponents when it really mattered.

Later that night, 14 Hawks and Hawkettes attended the OAFL Awards ceremony in style arriving in a luxurious stretch limo. Apologies had to be constantly made to the driver for a coach who had no idea where the Cool Brewery was and yet was still giving directions. Nick "I sometimes get mistaken for a Giraffe" Shuttleworth claimed the Leading Goalkicker Award while he and Stefan "the darkest I can go is Mayonnaise white" Leyhane placed in the OAFL All-star team. In other achievements, it looked like Danny "I eat more than Oprah" Walker was able to eat his fill for a growing boy his age. And definite props need to be shouted out to OAFL President, Scotty "You don't need to know the rules of footy to be president" Jobin-Bevans for actually managing to silence a room full of football players well into their drink at an open bar party. Many firsts, many feats... a good day, all in all.

The Hawks, on the other hand, were the clear underdog with 2 wins in their last 6 games... one win against the Swans and a forfeit win over the Demons. However, anyone who was there at the game the week before against the second-seeded team in the league, the Eagles, would know that this was not a game "in the bag for the Dingos." With more and more people off the Hawks' injured list, the Broadview team has become a creeping threat late in the season, like one of those well known gaseous anomalies that Forbes "New Guy" Gemmell was praised for last year: Silent but Deadly (SBD).

From the opening horn, it didn't take a footy expert to tell which team was dominating the ball. What this reporter was seeing was that the Broadview Hawks were not what popular opinion had so easily concluded: just because a serial monogamist succumbs to a couple of one-night stands, it doesn't mean he/she's gonna be given up that easily all the time. The first quarter showed such a Hawks' supremacy over the ball that it almost looked like a half-court basketball game. The ball seemed eternally in the Dingos' end of the field; occasionally it would sail past the half-line only to be re-fed back to the Hawks' forward line. Half of the points scored by the Dingos this quarter was from a "50" penalty against Broadview: Hawks 22 to Dingos 12.

This was a game where the statistics did not match the reality. On paper, if you saw a team with a record of 9 wins and 3 losses go up against a team with 6 wins and 6 losses, one would expect the team with 150% better win record to be victorious. The Hawks not only wanted the ball more, the ball was bouncing like it wanted to be the sweet, caressing hands of the Hawks. It was almost begging to be manhandled by the boys in yellow and brown, much like the shredded remnants of two $100 Diesel T-shirts found after the game. If the Hawks' intensity keeps up for the Finals, there may be a sweet underdog team to root for that isn't Coke or Pepsi.

The Hawks won the toss and took to the field, uncertain what this day would bring at their U of T Scarborough field. The horn sounded and the ball was live. And wouldn't you know it ... the Eagles were not the first players on the ball, the Eagles were not the team dominating the play. The Hawks were hungry for the ball and they got it. Some spectators recounting the game said it looked like a Chihuahua stealing a juicy bone right out of a pitbull's mouth by pure brute force, something you'd never thought possible. This was how much popular opinion had it that the Hawks were not up to the task to provide any resistance to the vaunted Eagles. The boys were winning it out of the centre and pushing it forward. The Eagles of course were not about to take it lying down and fought back. Broadview was still able win back possession and push forward. It was a tug of war of what made for a mesmerizing game to watch. Rhys "Hobbits Can't Chug" Harris's return to the field was also a fine bolster to the team play, shutting down the Eagle's attempts to funnel the ball towards their forward line. At the end of the first quarter, the impossible happened: the Hawks were up 14 points to 9.

The second quarter saw a fired up Eagles team bent on proving the last quarter to be only a Grand Final team caught off guard, underestimating an outfit that still had some life left in them that most people had assumed already dead. Again, the tug of war pushed back and forth with neither team backing down. No prisoners, no mercy, and no surrender. Kevin "I fix bicycles in bars" McLean, participated in one of the hardest fought goals this reporter has ever seen as the ball was passed 5 or 6 times back and forth in the "golden zone" of the field until his final kick. What was oddly gratifying to witness was the growing frustration of the Eagles players as their assured victory wasn't so guaranteed as they yelled at fellow teammates to do better. Hey, if strife makes for good reality TV, it also makes for a good game to watch. This game also made this reporter recall a Hawk remark on Stefan "Captain Canada" Leyhane that it must be so depressing to watch all your hard work to get the ball to the forward line only to be gobbled up by Stef and given right back to the Hawks. Add a strong performance by Kevin "I support Apple and all its products" Bridgman, and you get a much more tamed Eagles' offence. The Eagles' renewed efforts found them ahead at the half, 29 to 20.

The last quarter had the Eagles score two quick goals that had the effect of slashing the Hawks' tires and hopes. The possible sweet underdog victory was being pulled tantalizing out of reach. The Eagles' momentum allowed them to win their predicted victory over the Hawks. One great achievement was Nick "Yellow & Brown Flamingo" Shuttleworth's 50th goal this season, not only did he play his usual menacing presence on the field but also celebrated his 50th destructive thunderkick between the uprights.

This reporter has this much to say: Don't count the Hawks out just yet. If the Eagles are supposed to be a shoe-in for the Grand Final, this game looked very much like a game of evenly matched teams. But I must say, it was very nice to see Rhys "I'm pretty sure three 12 packs of Maclays are enough beers... oh crap" Harris off the injured list.

The first quarter saw a lot of action in the Swans' end as the Hawks offense kept winning the ball out of the centre and feeding the forward line with many opportunities. In a strange and creepy turn of events at the start of the game, Marty "Super Coach" Walter forcefully mandated to forward pocket Henry "Chenry" Chen that he wanted the wee Asian to score the first goal of the game and wouldn't you know it, he almost did. Alas, being cursed with genetically shorter legs and being ridiculously good-looking, he was just a few inches short of being able to get the foot on the ball and only managed to get the first point of the game. Still, it foreshadowed the possibility that all of Super Coach's directives would be fulfilled this game: the primary order being to break the Hawks' current losing streak.

Vice-Captain Nick " The Ripper" Shuttleworth was deadly in this quarter marking and kicking goals to a point where the hopes of a Swans' victory was as attainable as this reporter's attempts at sobriety: possible but unlikely at the moment. Danny "I assure you Sven is ghey" Walker also had a very menacing presence throughout the game. In fact, one Ottawa Swan mentioned the extreme difficulty in stopping that man. Of course, one Hawker replied that it was okay if he simply ceased to try to stop Danny and get out of his way. For the rare ball that sailed passed into the Hawks' half of the field was promptly stopped and fed back upfield by Captain Stefan "Dainty Tea-drinker" Leyhane. By the end of the first quarter, Broadview was up 35 to 0.

After the half and an inspirational pep talk from the coach, the Hawks ravaged the third quarter much like the previous two with them winning the majority of the contests and quickly turning over any contest lost. Veteran Richard "Richie" Mintz also posted well on the scoreboard this game like a bat out of hell, taking great marks and following through with the goals. Adam "my hair is just terrible" Verdurmen had a good shot at upping his goal count against nemesis Danny "Neon Afterglow" Walker but unfortunately missed from 15 metres out. Mark "Two Shirts Down" Leyhane was looking much more comfortable in the ruck ... an increasing dangerous menace to for every OAFL ruck rover. This game also saw some true Broadview Hawk dedication by several members who commuted from Toronto to Ottawa and then back to Toronto: equating to probably 9 hours travel time for a single game.

The last 20 minutes saw more questionable play than this reporter is used to. Ian "these aren't Daisy Dukes booty shorts bcos they're made from my own pants" Graham was the recipient of a cheap shot to the chin after a play was done and the ump was not looking. The aftermath of the incident was luckily controlled in time before an all out pub brawl ensued. You could tell that emotions were running high from that point on. But really, the end result was two of the best quotes on the field that day. My personal favourite quote of the day was "21 not 1!!!" The second best quote goes to Ian "Metro" Graham for saying "I'm starting to see yellow." after refusing to go off-field for most of the last quarter while being surrounded by our boys in yellow and brown.

In the end, it was victory: sweet and smelling like napalm.

As per usual of a Hawks roadtrip, there were some inevitable high jinks. There was the "almost" Wrestlemania Throwdown match between SuperCoach and Rideau Carleton Raceway's executive French chef. The ticket sales failed to break even. There were many assorted and varied rumours floating about that night including some obviously fabricated National Enquirer-type stories. Any rational human being with common sense knows that water-sliding in a hotel hallway is completely impossible and thus that story is obviously fan fiction. There was the one about the cameo appearance of the girlfriend of Grimace, famous mascot of MacDonald's fast food restaurants who was completely obsessed with herself, constantly remarking on how good she smelled and touching herself inappropriately. However, the only two corroborated stories were that, yes, the Hawks walked away from Ottawa with a win and that the majority of the team was attacked by a shirt-shredding assailant that was reported to be a pale, lanky alien with beady eyes.

The Hawks came out of the gates with a not uncommon, slow start. The 1st quarter was not pretty with both sides having difficulty finding a handle on the ball. The Hawks knew it was going to be a tough evening when they lost two key backmen early. Danny "my knees just can't handle what I squat" Walker was lost to leg injury just a few minutes in and Kevin "bones get brittle with age" Bridgman followed soon after with a busted beak. The Blues were able to capitalize on a couple of opportunities and led at the end of the 1st, 20-8.

The quarter time huddle was calm but the Hawks were aware they needed to pick up their game or they could find themselves in deeper by half. Unfortunately, the second quarter went very much like the first. Despite the best effort to date from Fraser "can't close" Nicholson-Bliesner and Aaron "can't chug beer" Gaulke, as a team, the Hawks were not on. The point differential at the end of the half was widened in favour of the Blues and they would not relinquish the lead for the remainder of the game.

I caught up with a Hawk player following the match and was able to get some very candid statements. The player wished to remain anonymous, but his message was clear. "We need to get around each other as a club now more than ever. I sense division within our players and our coaches and it is ultimately going to tear us apart if we don't fix it now. We don't lack talent or desire to win. We lack confidence in ourselves, and confidence in our teammates. There are 18 players a side in football and 18 players need to make a contribution. There is no need to panic, but guys need to look at what they did today and decide whether it was good enough for them, and good enough for the team. Too many of us are trying not to f*%& up instead of getting excited about an opportunity to get a run and make a difference. I mean, that's why we play, isn't it? We don't get paid to do this, it's supposed to be fun."

As somebody who has watched this team over a number of years now, I couldn't agree more.

A number of Hawks gathered at a local establishment later that night to drink away the sorrows of the loss earlier in the evening. One odd occurrence was the attempt by one Hawk who showed up to duplicate the hairstyle of a plastic Lego character crossed with an unshaven homeless person all wrapped up in a tight yellow shirt that screamed "I am straight". The ridicule he received will certainly ensure that he will revert back to his old doo for future outings.

Broadview makes the much anticipated overnight trip to Ottawa this weekend to face the Swans. The Swans, coming off a win two weeks ago vs Guelph, will not be taken lightly by the Hawks, particularly after the past two games. It is my belief that the Ottawa trip will get the Hawks back to where they need to be as a side. A strong win, coupled with stronger bonding that evening, is no doubt the best medicine to cure their pain.

Unfortunately for the Hawks, the only ladies travelling to Hamilton was Metro's terribly unattractive sister (sarcasm) and mum. We did have the usual suspect supporting Palin in back pocket but we've come to expect Julie there and listening to her kids' half time speeches.

As in any match, highlights were plentiful and by the end of the first quarter we had seen Jmac return from a weekend in San Francisco visiting his boyfriend to a black eye from Aubs (not confirmed) and Metro had continued his brilliant form with a dashing lead, mark and goal from an angle that shows why he's a better kick for goal than Danny Walker.

If football is a confidence sport, we let our egos go to our heads and suffered the consequence in the second quarter. Hamilton reminded Collo why they waged his life savings on the game and pounded on 7 goals. Not to be outdone, there was some slight resistance from the usual suspects and coming into half time the teams were evenly split.

If 3rd quarters are the premiership quarters ,Hawks were playing for the first draft pick for bottom of the ladder. It became clear that someone was going to have to step up and the only one stepping up was a curly haired full forward for Hamilton using Bridgy as a yo-yo. The quarter was very physical and I mean that in the sense that the Wildcats had given each other more high fives than Aaron's tackle count all season.

The last quarter was always going to be thrilling with injuries starting to creep in across our damaging players. Mario's hamstrings were gone after the first quarter and although Super Coach did the right thing and put him in a quiet position on the wing (sarcasm), he failed to deliver his usual blows of pace and attack. Stef and Walker fought tirelessly in the back half with Stef occasionally forgetting which team he was playing for with some lethal passes to Hamilton forwards.

It just wasn't the Hawks' day and when Shutts enjoyed a goal in the Hamilton bench's face, it was always going to be a huge celebration when the siren blew (siren didn't actually blow). In typical Hawk fashion the team quickly dispersed with both Leadership members getting on the first ride out of there.

For the record, the end result was 9 points down and, given half the Canadian players were away for far more important things (such as relatives visiting, Nintendo Wii day, MIA's and UFC title fights), we should be appreciative of those who made the journey.

We lost yesterday for one reason alone -- commitment to the team and that was seriously lacking. Thankfully this week is on a Saturday and at 5 pm players are going to have a lot more trouble missing that time. Maybe we'll bring some ladies and get them to wear skirts and pom poms...

The day was always set to be a success thanks to Topdeck Travel putting up a trip to Greece as the main prize in the day's raffle. Despite the fact that the 10 day tour around Greece is for people aged 18 to 30, VP Social Sean "my girlfriend isn't pregnant" Collins was seen selling handfuls of tickets to a short unidentified mid 40's man who, in a desperate act to conceal his age, wore a short sleeve shirt under a long sleeve shirt with a football jumper over the top. Such moves proved unfruitful as he was later beaten by his 8 year old daughter.

The early comers were treated to a rare chance to get to know Adam "my wife goes to Def Leppard concerts 'coz she rocks harder than I do" Vedurman in the weekly league booklet. Rumours have begun circulating about his choice of favorite superheros and that perhaps his wife is just a cover. Absentee from the game day team, Andrew "wedding crasher" Hodd was seen sucking down the beers on the sideline wearing a noticeably looser shirt than his normal size small under armour tank top which this reporter's contacts inform of him wearing during his grueling two hour sessions walking around in front of the gym mirrors. No doubt he will make it three hours on monday to burn off those empty calories.

At the long break coach Walter asked his players to continue the team effort and keep working as a team. The super coach had to fly solo after Assistant Coach Brendan "Home Depot" Bell got lost in the wilds of surburbia and was last seen painting his basement a subtle shade of pale avocado. The second half saw the Hawks continue to take control of the game as Aaron "prince albert" Gaulke linked play from the backline to the forwards and Mario "my dog is so tough" Pareja seemed almost impossible to tackle running the ball up the ground and making the most of his opportunities. He was ably supported by Dan "the flash" Noone providing blistering pace off the back flank. Despite a strong fourth quarter by the ever-running Guelph boys, the Hawks managed to work their way to a 35 point win by the final siren. At the post-game press conference the coaching staff talked highly of how the team put in an even effort across the field and how they're looking forward to taking on the Hamilton Wildcats next week.

After the hard fought victory, much of the crowd stuck around to sip on champagne and grab some burgers which were expertly cooked despite Chris "angry" Phyland's efforts to set the BBQ on fire and burn it to the ground. After soaking up the last of the sun, the Hawks moved to the Gretzky's rooftop patio for an evening of shenanigans lead by the rarely seen Forbes "pay your fees " Gemmell. A mention must go to Jamie "bacon" Mahey who was seen trying to take pup's initiative and hold hands with a dark haired lady but kept being thwarted by the burns on his hands.

Come show your support for the Hawks and we'll show our appreciation with champagne and food.

Win a trip in the Greek Islands courtesy of Topdeck Travel!

Come see the action at Humber South on Canada Day!

Marty Walter, prior to his high class salon hair polish, wanted this victory badly. Rumours had been swirling around Walter this week that pressing issues could see him leave the club for July and August. This is unconfirmed but in this reporter's eyes, it would be disastrous for the Hawks. As he called out the team he needed to be reminded that Forbes "2009's biggest disappointment" Gemmell and Andrew "it's wedding season" Hodd were absent for yet another week. "No problem" remarked the Super Coach and he filled those water running spots with one man, Jamie "I slept on my shoulder wrong and don't want to risk it" Mahy.

As the mighty Hawks took the field, the rain continued to saturate the ground. It was so wet that Ian "I am my own hairstylist" Graham had to re-work his coiffure in the first five minutes. This, however, would not slow down the brown and gold on this day. The centre for the Hawks was unusually big and powerful. Both Ben "big game" Carter and Rob "thunder" Vickers patrolled the centre square at the same time. This size and strength had not be seen in the centre since the likes of JD "pythons" Ney and Pablo "where are you" Willis.

As the game progressed, the Hawks forcefully applied pressure on the Rebels. Despite strong efforts by the Rebels to push into the forward line, there was a point you could see members of Broadview's backline finding other things to occupy their time. Kevin "still young enough to work an iPhone" Bridgman was seen knitting a sweater, Dan "magic hands" Walker was seen massaging Metro's shoulders, and Stefan "see through" Leyhane was seen taking a nap at centre half-back. They did, however, present a solid wall and move the ball out when needed.

A performance that cannot be overlooked is the play of Dan "I should be in the 1's" Noone. All day Noone communicated and played hard. In the third quarter he was rewarded with a goal after making a strong run and over the shoulder mark down low. In the end, goals were 8 for Shutts, 1 for Noone, 1 for Richie, 1 for Metro, 1 for Azz, and 1 for Adam "making my way to the league lead in goals" Verdurmen. The final score was 14.13.97 Hawks vs 2.3.15 Rebels.

The Hawks gathered Saturday evening at their club sponsored pub, Stix and Stones. Sean "3 months to go" Collins made it clear that, though his back is not right for footy, he can certainly still run the pool table. He also made an unprecedented move and wore a shirt that was not black.

This upcoming Saturday is an off week for the Hawks, but don't forget to check out the Canada Day festivities, next Wednesday July 1st at Humber South. The Hawks' regular season continues Saturday, July 4th, 12 noon vs Guelph at Humber North.

Then the Hawks vs Eagles Division 1 game commenced with the smell of barbeque wafting in the air. Little did anyone know, this was an omen of the game to be: hawkburgers on the grill. The first quarter almost seemed like a dream or nightmare both on and off the field. On the field, nothing was coalescing into reality: the ball escaping from Hawks' possession like figments of their imagination and without the ball, there would be no goals. The people on the sidelines could not believe their very eyes: were these really the Broadview Hawks or did someone replace the team with uninspired clones? Was there a huge all-night raging party the night before and no one had actually slept? Broadview was definitely not performing up to par and the mystery remains as to why? How? One player appeared out of nowhere several times like a superhero out of a comic book to quell the inferno that was the Eagles' offence with some impressive tackles. If the first 3 quarters were to be described as a Hawkburger barbeque, Danny "I can't hold my pee on this busride" Walker was the one keeping some burgers off the grill. Other players also kept a few hawkburgers off the grill, but a few players is not enough against an entire Eagles team that simply wanted the ball more.

There were of course moments of hope: a good tackle here, a good launching kick there, or a mid-air collision featuring flying hobbit Rhys "Frodo" Harris, but these were few and far between. The abnormal amount of "50's" awarded out by the referees to the Eagles also did not help matters either. As Humber North lacks Jumbotron screens and camera replays, it was hard for this reporter to see what was really going on with these calls. Regardless of what could have been or should have been, the Hawks left the 3rd quarter with but 1 goal and 6 behinds on the scoreboard to the Eagles' excess of 90 points.

The fourth quarter served to further confuse the mystery of this Hawks vs. Eagles game. The crowd had murmured throughout the game as to where the Hawks of Old, Strong and Bold, were that day? The crowd had given up as much as it had appeared the Hawks players had already. People just wanted to get this thumping over and done with. Seeing one's team being annihilated is hardly the most motivating Saturday activity. And then they appeared. Indeed, the Hawkers were not finished until the final siren had gone. In a surreal turn of events, the Hawks floored the gas just when it seemed that the Eagles had stopped for a smoke break. With 7 or 8 unanswered goals, the Hawks dominated the last quarter like slaves turning on their masters who had flogged them one too many times and had not heeded the "safe word". Play after play, possession after possession, the Hawks were coming out ahead and laid out destruction in their path. Someone had cried Havoc and let slip the dogs of war. Alas it was too late, the irrevocable damage was done and eighty points in 20 minutes was just not in the cards.

I will never know what truly happened on June the 13th with that game. Perhaps no one will. It is undeniable that it was not a good game. However, potential was also undeniably there. And properly cultivated, potential can turn lackluster into devastating.

Intent on getting the boys cleaned up after the monumental weekend, Brendan "common guys, it is fitness Tuesday!" Bell pushed the Hawks to reach new levels of fitness. Unfortunately, a weekend's worth of Chai Tea Lattes proved too much for several of the Hawks and thus training attendance was at an all-time low. Upon getting wind of the poor attendance, Martin "footy shorts look more like Capris on me" Walter was absolutely floored. In an unprecedented attempt to rejuvenate the Hawks, Walter took it upon himself to lead by example and jog to training. With the gentle breeze flowing through his hair, the enchanted Walter, who was merrily trotting along, was quickly brought back to reality when an unapologetic Lee "Leepo" Pope nearly toppled him over as he blasted past. Coach Walter was later heard muttering the phrase "I'll tire them out so much at training that they'll have no choice but to give me the ball during the second's game on Saturday."

The Coach's plan went off without a hitch. Martin "runs like a velociraptor" Walter managed to bag 2 goals and a behind in a Division 2 Hawks win he was obviously pleased with. The fame and fortune quickly went to his head as he began comparing himself to the likes of club superstars Nick Shuttleworth and Danny "Cover Boy" Walker. Fortunately, the focus quickly turned toward the match against the 'Roos.

Despite the loss, the Hawks put forth a solid effort. "Everyone on the field played their heart out," Brendan "Belly" Bell commented, "that's what the coaching staff wants to see. Unfortunately, we had a few injuries with Matty Mullin injuring his foot and Kevin 'I'll feel REAL pain when I explain this at home' McLean receiving a blow to the back. Of course, Jamie 'JAAAMIEEE' Mahy's pride received the worst blow of all after losing the post-game drinking competition. I'm not sure if we will get him back on his feet after that pride-shattering loss, but we will certainly give him the extra coaching he needs at Stix 'N Stones this coming Thursday." Several Hawks players declined interviews after the difficult defeat. Armed with his "Metro" inspired Armani sunglasses, Mario "Boys #2 Supercuts Special" Pareja refused to comment on the day's match and his noticeably poor hairdo.

Club supporters and players agreed that regardless of the loss, Saturday was a great day for the club. The BBQ was cooking, the kids were playing and everyone had a wonderful time. Forbes "Forbsy" Gemmell was put in charge of the barbeque for the day which had some spectators, like VP Social Sean "soon to be diaper-dispenser" Collins, a bit rattled. "They put Forbsy in charge of the barbie?!" said Collins, "Now who the heck is going to bring the condiments? Doesn't that guy have a wife's ex-boyfriend's sister's baby shower to attend? I won't forget this Gemmell!" Although Forbes claimed Sean's remarks wouldn't affect his barbequing performance, he was noticeably cautious about keeping the ménage é trois of hair-products on his head a safe distance from the open flames. The rest of the supporters were simply glad Gemmell stuck to traditional beef rather than the meat-ginseng fusion burgers he seemed so enamoured with.

The food was accompanied by plenty of entertainment. Sven "the warrior princess" Henrycoff had the crowd dazzled with his acrobatic pirouettes as he fought off 3' villains using his flip-flops in what can only be described as a re-enactment of Albino-Nordic Mythology gone horribly wrong. Julie "Jewels" Palin eventually put an end to the bizarre scene by sending "Seven" for a timeout. The on-field festivities eventually wrapped up as the players prepared for a big night on the town.

Several of the Hawks were spotted leaving Grace O'Malley's late into the evening. An obviously inebriated Ian "Metro" Graham was seen arguing with an automated parking meter about being a part of Australian Idol. "I'm like Simon, except Australian, but I'm really Canadian," he claimed. The parking meter was relentless in its position.

Cheer your Hawks on next Saturday at Humber North where they will be taking on the Toronto Eagles at noon.